"Love is not Rude" - May 18, 2014

first Corinthians chapter 13 so we've

been talking about issues related to

community what does it mean to be

together to share life together what

does it mean to be a not just people who

happen to come to the same building once

a week or twice a week but to be people

who have relationship with one another

who know each other who are a community

now that's something that doesn't happen

overnight it's a process but it's an

important one because the body of Christ

is an organic thing is we connect to the

body of Christ the life and energy of

Jesus flows into us so it's not

negotiable can't be a Christian alone

any more than you can be married alone

it's got to be in community we're meant

to be together we're a body the body of

Christ one part of the body if it gets

cut off the body will be crippled it may

survive it'll be crippled but that

member will die we need one another and

so that's why it's so important for us

to be talking about this and we've been

talking especially about love and what

that means if there is one thing that we

get right as a church I really hope it's

this that we would love one another that

we would know what that means love is

something that is worth thinking about

it's worth studying it's worth working

at because it won't just be some

ethereal idea some emotional sentimental

thing that has no implications for our

daily life so it's worth taking time to

meditate on what love really means and

what does it mean to be a person that is

defined by this so first Corinthians 13

we've already read about how love is

patient and love is kind and now we're

going to start in ruin verse 5 so first

Corinthians 13 verse 5 there is no

projection but you can find it in your

Bible first Corinthians 13 verse 5 it

says and it's talking about love it says

it is not rude

kicked them that's it for today that's

our text unless someone wants to go on I

think we I think that'll be plenty for

one day huh let's stop there love is not

rude father I pray in Jesus name God

that you would speak to us in this time

God that as a result of what we think

about and talk about here together

father that we would be more loving that

we would be like Jesus Lord God that

people would see the presence of God in

our lives more I thank you that love is

not rude in Jesus name in the King James

it says love does not became behaved

unseemly in Spanish no hace nada in

David all right nalan debido love does

not I love a translation that says love

does not dishonor another person if you

think that's what rudeness does isn't it

when we're rude we in some way dishonor

or lower the other person we bring them

down a notch we do not dishonor belittle

degrade put down love is not a jerk

excuse me anyone here a jerk sometimes I

think we all are just ask your spouse

your your sometimes you know no no

pointing no pointing this verse the word

in greek is only use really one other

place in the new testament in the in its

exact form and that's in first

Corinthians chapter seven verse 36 it's

right near there if you want to turn to

it first Corinthians 7 36 and it's

talking about relationship between

people who are dating or engaged to be

married and it's talking about different

you know levels of appropriateness and

what does it mean to behave

appropriately for a dating couple and it

speaks to

them and it says in first Corinthians

736 if anyone is worried that he might

not be acting honorably toward the

virgin he is engaged to so that's the

word the same word from first

Corinthians 13 5 for rudeness if anyone

is worried that he is being rude or

acting dishonorably toward the virgin

he's engaged to and if his passions are

too strong and he feels he ought to

marry he should do as he wants he's not

sending they should get married so

that's the other context for this isn't

that interesting rudeness here in this

context is crossing a limit violating

the space of the other person going too

far and we're not going to take the

sermon in that direction but it is

talking about how to respect the dignity

and the honor and the space of the other

person when we're rude we violate

people's boundaries we go too far in

some way in what we say in what we do in

how we act we're rude there's a lack I

think the key word in honoring a person

is respecting them that love respects

the other person love notices and

observes the dignity of the person that

is there and that results in courtesy

and politeness and good attention love

is not rude you know often I think when

we think about being polite and being

courteous we think of being super formal

we think of being tight we think of

being stodgy even the last thing you

think about is someone telling a joke

and relaxing and being themselves I

don't think that's what God wants from

us I don't think that Christians need to

be uptight and religious all the time

that's not what I'm talking about you

know it's interesting just this week I

had opportunity to hang out with some

off-duty state troopers some of you

might know the context in which this


was hanging out with these guys and some

of their language was rather colorful

wouldn't you say those of you rather

salty would might say I'm not saying

that a Christian needs to be like huh

scandalize I can't be here no I'm not

saying that Christians can never tell a

joke or laugh at themselves or even

maybe indulge in a good old-fashioned

bathroom humor every now and then if you

have toddlers I hope there's plenty of

that going on in your household within

appropriate boundaries but we can be

ourselves when it talks about love not

being rude and love respecting and

honoring the other people I don't think

that means we need to walk on eggshells

with each other right and be so careful

that you can't really talk freely you

can't be yourself how about that parable

where Jesus says he's teaching us to ask

boldly of him and he says imagine one of

you has a friend who knocks on the door

at midnight and says I have people

who've come on a journey and I have no

bread to put before them it's the middle

of the night and he's knocking and you

say I'm in bad leave me alone it says

you won't that you won't get up and give

him the bread because he's your friend

but because of his boldness his

impudence his shamelessness he's even

pushing the envelope you'll get up and

give them the bread anyone have a friend

like that who can just be themselves

with they can barge in and it's okay I

hope so i think is there's intimacy and

freedom we don't have to walk on

eggshells with each other right we can

we can be ourselves we can be free we

can be loose we can dialogue freely so

with all of that said though there does

need to be a realization of what loving

courtesy and respect is I'm not talking

about a politeness that is based on fear

gotta be careful I don't offend got to

be careful because I might get them

angry at me that's a politeness that's

based on fear what we're talking about

is courtesy that is love motivated it's

not based on I'm afraid

do the wrong thing but I really want to

do the right thing by this person

because this person is a child of the

Living God they're a precious valuable

person that is worthy of all kinds of

good attention and respect and I want to

trip over myself to honor that person

because they deserve it because the

image of God is in them now that's a

different attitude isn't it now there's

freedom and there's joy in it but

there's also politeness and courtesy and

not rudeness so let's talk a little bit

about the different reasons why we are

rude sometimes why are we rude we are

all rude sometimes if you think you're

never rude then you're the worst kind of

rude because you don't know that you're

being rude so we'll be talking about

that okay that's going to be one of my

points here the person who doesn't know

they're being rude right sometimes you

think we're being funny sometimes you

think we're being assertive we're being

bold we're being prophetic we think it's

tough love we think I'm just making my

point really just being rude right don't

we do that sometimes I want to use as

our case study a particular incident of

rudeness that each one of us who drives

has perhaps too experienced okay you're

on one of our lovely streets and

somebody cuts you off in traffic it's

dangerous there could have caused an

accident think to cut you off how rude

anyone ever experienced that anyone ever

done ugly one no no hands raised this

isn't confession time why does a person

do that why are we rude sometimes and I

defined it into four different reasons

okay there's probably a lot more but

we're just going to talk about for today

one because the person doesn't remember

that there's another person in that car

okay now if you ask them they'll say

well of course I know there's a driver

but it's easier to be rude to someone

who's in a car isn't it because you're

you're not seeing

person right there are people who would

never elbow another person out of the

way on the street that would not even

think about cutting that same person off

in traffic why because they're in a car

you can't see them you forget there's a

person there in a sense they are

depersonalized dehumanized it's really

the first step of any kind of evil

towards other people is somehow

forgetting that they're a person that

they're humans so that's one reason

we'll talk about that number two

sometimes people will cut off people in

traffic without meaning to they don't

even know they did it maybe the other

car was in their blind spot you ever

done that don't you wish you had a horn

that could talk it's a excuse me I'm

really sorry i just did that I didn't

mean to have a nice day god bless you

please don't notice that bumper sticker

on the back of my car really Christians

are not like this normally you know it

happens it happens by accident sometimes

people just don't know why don't they

know well maybe they're in a hurry maybe

they're not paying attention I think

many times we are rude to other people

because we're distracted we're just not

paying attention and so we're rude

without even realizing it and we need to

become more self-aware that's number two

number three I think cars sometimes cut

off other cars simply because they

believe that they're more important

their right to get there first matters

more than the other person's they really

just they just don't care there there

it's what they it's not that they want

to be mean they just want what they want

and unfortunately you happen to be there

so I had to cut you off sorry just came

with a territory and then that's number

three number four I think sometimes

people cut off people in traffic and a

rude in this way because they

intentionally are mean people because

they have learned to this to survive in

this world I better cut them off before

they cut me off no that's the way you

survive if I start letting people in

there going to walk all over

me in Boston you gotta drive

aggressively got to hurt them before

they hurt you we'll talk about that

because that is also why many of us are

rude especially when we're engaging in

conflicts because we have learned that

to survive it's not just about resolving

a conflict I've got to put that person

down before they can get me and we've

learned that as a survival mechanism but

it's really rudeness and it's not love

and it's not survival either so we'll

talk about that so those are the four

reasons that I've picked for rudeness

there's probably plenty of others and if

you have some ideas let me know

afterwards and I will steal from you for

the next time i preached this sermon I

didn't mean to be rude we are rude

number one because we sometimes forget

that there's a person in that car we

forget the humanity of the other person

right love is to honor a person simply

because they are a human being and we

never read the Ten Commandments right

we're celebrating you know Ten

Commandments honour thy father and thy

mother that it may go well with you in

the land he may live long and prosper

you know honor the word for that in the

Hebrew and I've no I'm sure I'll get it

wrong but it comes from the same word

for glory kaval which is is the word for

glory like the glory of the Lord and it

means glow a so glorified kavod the root

of that has to do with weightiness or

heaviness so honoring your parents means

taking them seriously not taking them

lightly this person matters this is a

person to be taken seriously it's a

person to be honored why because they're

your parents and that's just the way it

should be but we are called to honor

every human being on the face of the

earth because we believe as Christians

that every person is created in the

image of God that every human being

bears within them a reflection of the

God who made them and because of that

they inherently deserve honor and

respect just because they're human it

doesn't matter how they behave

it doesn't matter what they look like

what nation they're from or how they are

dressed it doesn't matter their social

status if they are human beings they are

worthy of respect simply because of

their humanity now Satan who comes to

steal kill and destroy has sought to

distort the image of God and people to

deface them to twist them into to lower

their dignity that they behind lowes we

would say in Spanish but God comes that

we might have life and have it

abundantly that God would restore the

dignity of humanity and part of how we

do that is by respecting people and we

do that in society all the time right we

respect certain people because of the

office they hold we should respect and

honor the president the governor the

mayor different ruling officials police

force we should respect because of the

office they hold and what they represent

you may voted for the other guy or gal

but it doesn't matter they hold the

office you respect them because of the

office they hold right same thing with

people doesn't matter who they are this

person before you are next to you is a

profoundly important person and we need

to treat them with courtesy and respect

now this gets to be a challenge with

people that are looked down upon in our

society if you have your Bible and you

could turn to the book of James chapter

2 James to James chapter to look at what

the Apostle James says to the Christians

about how they treat people who come in

from the streets the way they look James

2126 my brothers and sisters believers

in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ must

not show favoritism in Spanish accep

seond a better sona's suppose a man

comes into your meeting wearing a gold

ring and fine clothes and a poor man in

filthy old clothes also comes in now I'm

in verse 3 of James chapter 2 if you

show special attention

to the one wearing fine clothes and say

here's a good seat for you but to the

poor man you stand there or sit on the

floor by my feet have you not

discriminated among yourselves and

become judges with either evil thoughts

listen my dear brothers and sisters has

not God chosen those who are poor in the

eyes of the world to be rich in faith to

inherit the kingdom he promised those

who love Him but you have dishonored the

poor that speaks for itself doesn't it

very practical words to a church we have

the privilege and honor of being a

church where people will drop in a lot

and I pray and hope that we will be a

community where everyone who comes here

experiences respect and honor that when

they come here they know I am safe in

this place I will be treated well

doesn't matter how I am dressed or I

don't have to know how to but I will be

received with dignity and that includes

how we address people how we speak to

them how we there should be a feeling

that each person who comes is an honored

guest now that also doesn't mean that

we're condescending or patronizing to

people right you treat people as people

manda man woman a woman this is a human

being before me in fact when we are rude

the Apostle Paul says that it's as if we

are defiling a temple would anyone here

take spray paint and just spray paint

here you know sometimes you know bigots

or people who do horrible things will

deface places of worship right you would

never dream of doing that would you

dream of maybe putting down though

someone you know in church that you

think is not really a very nice person

and you put them down in the way you

talk about them and treat them maybe you

might church fights happen it happens

the Apostle Paul says that you as the

church are the Temple of the Holy Spirit

and anyone who destroys order

cases God's temple God will destroy him

when I speak negatively about a brother

or sister in Christ it's as if I took

spray paint and vandalized the church

building but much worse because this is

a building where God's people meet it's

a beautiful it's an important building

its space we've set aside to the

purposes of God but the Holy Spirit

actually lives inside of Christians real

temples each person and as a community

we are the temple right then time simple

and to speak poorly of members of that

temple is to deface the structure in

which God's Spirit dwells rudeness is

does that so what I would encourage us

to do here with this point number one

you're driving along remember there's a

person in the car remember that there is

an image of God inside the human being

before you and even the person who is

mean to you even that boss at work they

are image bearers of the Living God

number one number two sometimes we are

rude simply because we are clueless we

don't even know we're being rude we're

rude by accident sort of like the

absent-minded professor who's lost in

his own thoughts I one of my favorite

absent-minded professors I had in

seminary legendary for this once bumped

into a student of his on the street

corner they talked for a couple minutes

and then he said excuse me which way was

I going when we bumped into each other

that way oh good I've eaten lunch

already okay and he kept walking he

wasn't sure if he'd even had lunch yet

he did remember which way he was going

because he was thinking important

thoughts right now sometimes when people

are absent-minded you walk through a

door in the door slams shut on the

elderly lady behind you anyone ever done

that and then you like don't what did I

do anyone ever seen your husband or your

kid do that I did you didn't see what

you were just rude to that person I

didn't even realize you're absent-minded

you just want to thinking kids do this

all the time right a big part of raising

kids is simply teaching them what's rude

and what's

not yeah that's rude when you do that

right you shouldn't need to tell them

but you do it does not come naturally

right we're rude sometimes simply

because we're unaware of it now this can

become very serious when our absent

mindedness can denigrate or humiliate

other people we read our verse from the

book of Corinthians does anyone know the

context where the the teaching on the

Lord's Supper happens in the book of

Corinthians you ever read that with you

know the words we read this I received

what I receive from the Lord I also

passed along to you that on the night he

was betrayed Jesus took bread and broke

it you know that text it comes from a

text where the Apostle Paul is teaching

about rudeness in the church and about

rudeness during the Lord's Supper itself

anyone ever been to a potluck dinner

where you go and everyone brings food in

those days they would celebrate the

Lord's Supper at a potluck dinner

everyone would bring food and you would

sit down with your families and groups

and everyone would eat and then at one

point they would pause and they would

consecrate the meal to the Lord and they

would remember Jesus's body sacrificed

on the cross for us there Lord's Supper

was part of a what they would call love

feast a full meal right but there was a

problem in Corinth some people would sit

at tables with their friends and they

would eat and eat and eat and there

would be a poor person who didn't have

any food sitting there alone at a table

during the Lord's Supper itself

humiliated you ever sat at a table all

by I know I'm asking a lot of questions

forgive me you ever sat at a table all

by yourself when you're maybe you were a

new student in college you didn't know

anybody and you sat at the table by

yourself and everyone else seems to have

friends everyone but you and you're

sitting there alone feeling like you

stick out well that was happening at the

Lord's Supper in Corinth there were

people who would sit alone and go hungry

while other people would just pig out

and even get drunk at the Lord's feast

the Apostle Paul says that that is

participating in the Lord's Supper in

and onward

the manor and be careful because you're

sinning against the body and blood of

the Lord when you do that that's the

context of that warning they were being

rude at the Lord's Supper you know what

I think I think some people knew what

they were doing they just didn't care

right they just said all those people

will forget them anyway but I think some

people didn't realize just how rude they

were being because they were really into

their conversation they were really into

their table right they had their friends

their their reading they're talking and

they didn't even notice the person

sitting alone over there I would

encourage us to pay attention especially

a church but all the time to that one

person who might be sitting off alone or

look sad or look like they need a

greeting and not be just so wrapped up

in my own close circle of acquaintances

that I forget that we may be

unintentionally being rude now

especially in a community such as this

where it's a mixed community there's

people from all over a lot of people

barely know anyone yet this takes a lot

of work and I hope we come to church on

a mission saying I am going to find

someone to make them feel welcome in

this church today I'm on a mission and

so I'd encourage you be careful that

we're not unintentionally rude it

happens all the time but if you're

driving and you cut someone off because

you don't notice them why it's usually

because you're either you're in a hurry

you got to get there so you cut someone

off without realizing it or you're not

paying attention you're listening to the

music or whatever and you're just not

paying attention part of courtesy and

politeness and honoring people means

slow down and notice the people around

you just notice them it takes some

effort but eventually becomes a skill

that we learn Jesus was an expert at

this remember the story where he was in

a hurry to get to a house to heal a

little girl who was dying and she was

only 12 and it was a big crowd of people

and they were pushing through the crowd

and a lady who was bleeding touched him

she'd been bleeding for 12 years and she

said if I just touched the hem of His


healed she touched him and was healed

and then she disappeared in the crowd

jesus said enough of this pushing and

shoving I'm gonna stop and I'm going to

notice the human being who just touched

me somebody touched me and people like

everybody's pushing and shoving how can

you say somebody touched me says no

somebody touched me with faith and he

waited until that woman came and told

her story they said precious daughter

your faith has healed you go in peace

Jesus saw the human being he slowed down

and he stopped to show honor to a person

who had been dishonored and rejected in

society for 12 years I'd encourage you

to slow down a little bit take the

earphones out and pay attention to the

people around you they're human beings

to be honored now another reason that

we're sometimes rude without realizing

it is because we come from different

cultures right now forgive me I know I

talked about this a lot but it's very

important so we have to talk about this

a lot we come from different cultures

and you know sometimes what's okay in

dorchester is not okay in Tokyo or in

Nigeria or even in Atlanta or LA what's

okay in one culture might be very rude

in another culture right and it could be

every how about eye contact right in in

at least in North American euro

Caucasian if you're not looking someone

in the eye you're being rude you're not

listening but there are some cultures

where the child looks the mother and the

island says don't you look at me in the

eye like that you're being rude this

poor kid is getting one message at

school at another at home I contact I

had dear friends at seminary who were

from Japan we're also eye contact was

you know it was considered kind of rude

to just look at someone especially male

females very intimate and and but they

learned that you need to make eye

contact in the United States so they

would sit and they would just stare at

you lay they really working hard they're

like I'm trying to be polite

but it feels so rude right there are

some cultures where laughing out loud is

rude we're showing your mouth when

you're laughing is rude and so you have

to cover your mouth as you laugh right

and there's others where i just opened

the mountain laughs it's okay

differences in cultures you know in

japanese american culture it is polite

to slurp your soup you know that you

know that today a man's got some

slurpers here yeah it's not polite in

your house don't don't do it there but

it is polite it means you like the soup

you like the soup I've heard there some

cultures I don't know which ones where

after you finish a meal it's the best

compliment you could give the cook just

to sit back and cut loose with a nice

big belch that's polite but then you try

it somewhere else and it doesn't go over

as well you get the point I'm making

it's a mess a multicultural community is

a mess it's a it is a hodgepodge of

offenses and misunderstandings and when

somebody is violating one of your

cultural norms usually the last thing

you're going to think is oh well maybe

they're like that in their culture

you're not going to think that you know

what you're going to think you think why

are they being so rude that's what

you're going to think we need to learn

if we want to be the church the way

we're called to be our church we're

going to need to learn to give people

the benefit of the doubt the Bible says

love covers a multitude of sins and

offenses it means when someone seems to

be being rude you step back and you

think maybe they just don't know any

better way back you got to be careful

because you don't be like well he's a

gringo maybe he just doesn't know you

can't be like that because then you know

you don't want to be condescending but

you want to give people the benefit of

the doubt but it also means if this is

going to work then we're going to have

to work at it you're going to have to

learn it slurping your soup it may be

its fine at home but you can't do it in

other households just going to have to

learn because if you want to honor the

person before you love is not

rude love needs to sometimes sacrifice

what you think is okay in order to be

polite so many times were rude simply

because we don't know any better and we

all make mistakes and hopefully we can

be an atmosphere where we can laugh at

ourselves and be gracious with each

other so we don't have to walk on

eggshells we can be free to make some

mistakes and forgive each other now part

of it though means giving up my right to

do things my way reason number three for

cutting people off is I have a right to

the road and no one else does I'm in a

hurry I gotta cut them off I have a

right to do this a big part of honoring

other people is yielding your right to

express yourself as you think you need

to in honor of what the people around

you need now let me give some examples

here in the in the community of corinth

and i'm using them a lot because they

were very rude we know from the 50 and

the Apostle Paul wrote this to the

Corinthians there were people who had

the gift of tongues right we've talked

about that here it's a gift of the Holy

Spirit where a person can pray in a

language they don't even understand it's

a beautiful thing it activates their

spirit it helps them worship God in a in

a language that only their spirit

understands a beautiful thing we

encourage that here but in that church

sometimes people would speak in tongues

really loudly and they would sort of

take over the service and then someone

would start speaking in tongues over

them and it becomes sort of dueling

tongue speakers right and it become kind

of a tongue speaking contest took our

visitors are like what church I've i

just added but people would think and

why did they do that now there might

have been a variety of reasons but they

might have thought I can't help it the

Holy Spirit is in me I have to I have to

pray the way I need to pray says but the

Apostle Paul says what about the people

around you what about the visitors who

come in we're going to think you're just

crazy they're not going to know what

you're doing the Apostle Paul says that

that's in the Bible visitors are going

to come and think you're crazy that is

directly in the Greek first Corinthians

14 you can

we being aware of the people around us

and giving up my right to express myself

in favor of politeness to the community

that's love now all of that within

reason I still got to be me right I'm

never going to be a Latino I tried to

for like 15 years i pretended i was a

Latino and tried to and I didn't fool

anybody I'm a-gettin I say I'm a gringo

confundido I tried this didn't work say

okay at the end of the day I'm I am Who

I am and I by the grace of God and I'm

not going to pretend on something

different okay but all of that with an

awareness that I may need to adjust ways

I do things out of deference to the

people around me that's love love is not

rude now another example of that in

Corinth food offered to idols in those

days you didn't just go to the grocery

store to buy meat you went to the temple

markets where animals have been

sacrificed to idols and then they would

sell the leftover meat in meat markets

and people would buy their meat and eat

it now there were some Christians who

were scandalized by this they said I

can't eat meat from an animal that's

been sacrificed to an idle no it would

defile me now there were other

Christians like the Apostle Paul who

said well I didn't offer the animal to

an idol I didn't worship the idol but I

like me and God made that cow no matter

what they did with it and I want to eat

it right and so the Apostle Paul said no

problem by the meat eat the meat enjoy

it and that's okay right because the

earth is the Lord and the fullness

thereof but then what about the person

who thinks oh no they're scandalized by

this the Apostle Paul and other

Christians had a decision to make is he

free to eat me yes he can do what he

wants he's not doing anything wrong but

what if him eating me is going to

scandalize his Christian brother or

sister who

for that person it is sin god bless you

had to be politely love is not rude so I

sorry about that but and they had to

decide it's not about my freedom to eat

whatever I want it's about what this

person needs what's going to bless the

people around me right so he is he free

yes he could eat meat if he wanted to

but he intentionally adjusts his own

freedom out of deference for the people

around him we have to do that all the

time if we want to love the people

around us now again gotta be you you

don't let what you know is good be

spoken of as evil don't let someone

condemn you when they find out you eat

meat at home so well it's you know I

this is what I believe but don't

intentionally scandalize another person

be aware of your context now finally

part of it too and then I have one other

point out too that we are rude because

we assert our right to say whatever we

think right anyone like that and said

though I speak the truth yo hablo live

at her Dobb he know where they had

canale my body I see soy I'm gonna speak

the truth no one's gonna stop me right

why do I was going to Spanish when I do

an attitude what's up with that why do I

always do that because it just doesn't

translate it doesn't translate you know

the some words just don't translate into

English people who think I have the

right to say what I think it's America

right free country I can say what I

think especially if you're a Christian

speak the truth we gotta preach you know

I think very often people in society who

are not from Christian churches don't

like Christianity not because of what we

believe but because we believe it in an

obnoxious way we say what we think

rudely we put others down there's rude

what does Peter say there's a great

verse about this in second Peter here

I'll find it well I guess I don't have

it yeah 2nd Peter 3 14 and 15 but even

if you should suffer for what is right

you're blessed it says but in your

hearts Revere Christ is Lord

always be prepared to give an answer to

everyone who asks you to give the reason

for the hope that you have but do this

with gentleness and respect keeping a

clear conscious conscience so that those

who speak maliciously against your good

behavior in Christ should be ashamed of

their slander in other words if

someone's going to hate you because

you're a Christian let it be because

you're a Christian and not because

you're rude about being a Christian

right that you can disagree and speak

what you think but do it with gentleness

and respect for the other person now I

was thinking about this as I was

thinking about one of Jesus's sermons to

the Pharisees remember what did Jesus

call the Pharisees where the Pharisees

were the hypocritical religious leaders

of his day and he said you brood of

vipers who warned you to flee from the

coming wrath John the Baptist too and I

thought well is that polite calling them

a brood but if I were Jesus's PR guy I

might come out with a little statement

afterwards trying to you know soften and

Jesus like no no brood of vipers just

like when I'm translating for Roberto

sometimes you notice that such as he'll

say something and I'll translate and be

like no no I was being a little harsher

than that then he'll let people have it

you know was Jesus being rude no Jesus

was being prophetic okay like the

prophets of old Jeremiah you know

Ezekiel Elijah sometimes people need

harsh medicine they need a wake-up call

they need someone to shake them okay so

some of you may say well I'm a prophet

to your not Jeremiah you're not a zekiel

and you're certainly not Jesus okay they

can do that I'm not saying we never give

people a hard truth though okay we need

to sometimes the truth hurts sometimes

and there's nothing you can do about it

but does the truth intentionally demean

or belittle another person does it shame

another person insult in in Ephesians it

says speak

truth in love in love so we need yes you

have a right to tell the truth I hope

you tell the truth but we need to speak

the truth in love in a way that is

respectful and honoring to the people

around us finally so we've talked about

the reasons for being rude one because

you forget there's a person in the car

that's why you cut them off number two

because you're absent-minded you don't

even realize you're being rude number

three because you insist on your right

your right to express yourself your

right to say what you think number four

sometimes we are rude simply to be mean

if we're honest right simply to be mean

we've learned that I got to hurt them

before they hurt me got to put them down

to sort of make myself feel safe and in

a high position it's the root of

bullying really in racism and all kinds

of oppression most significant racism if

you study history significant racist

movements like you know in the in the US

19th century Jim Crow Europe you know

Germany the anti-semitism most of these

major racist movements are based on a

fundamental insecurity know a certain

group feels insecure about itself needs

to find a victim to blame a scapegoat

put them down to make our group feel

better right the root of bullying and

meanness and rudeness is very often fear

and insecurity you've been hurt you've

learned you've got a fight and you got

to be mean or otherwise they're going to

walk all over you now that is not

assertiveness because there is a place

for assertiveness there's a place for

strength but that's different from being

rude it's different from denigrating or

humiliating another person so sometimes

we're rude simply to put the other

person down or sometimes were rude to

hurt them back when you're in an

argument or a discussion with someone

right they said something you got to

give it right back to them Bam Bam Bam

Bam and it escalates it it escalates and

escalates and then certain things are

said that can never be taken back right

I heard of a great activity done with

little kids in a summer camp take them

outside onto the field give them all a

little tube of toothpaste out on a field

outside right and now say okay now

everybody squirt the tooth paste into

your hands they squirt it all into their

hands and they're all having fun it's

like you mean I'm allowed to do this

yeah yeah squirt it into their hands I

quickie now everybody I wanted to take

the toothpaste and put it back in the

tube okay and we'll have a race and

they're all trying to get it back in the

two and of course it doesn't work and it

gets very messy and here's the lesson

our words are like that once they're out

it's very messy trying to get your words

back in the tube I would encourage you

to learn how to fight fair okay

especially in your household there are

rules for a fair fight take discipleship

level three lesson whatever there are

two pages of rules for a fair fight it's

okay to have a discussion or an argument

or even an argument we're but there are

rules of respect that if you observe

those then once it the dust settles you

haven't wounded the relationship in a

more profound way love is not rude now

that takes learning and it takes effort

because how do sometimes you're angry

sometimes people are bad and you're

having a dialogue with them but if we

learn how to stand up with assertiveness

but still respect the dignity of that

other person while then love reigns in

the household and we can do that we can

learn how to do that we will make

mistakes you will be rude if you drive

in Boston at some point you will cut

someone off either one day you'll be in

a bad mood you just decide you hate

Toyota's and you'll just cut off a

Toyota I don't know why or maybe you'll

be not paying attention so I'm going to

be in your blind spot maybe you'll be in

a hurry whatever maybe it'll happen we

are going to be rude sometimes

but God can help us be different the

love of Christ is stronger than the

flesh it's stronger than the situations

we face and we can reflect Jesus in

practical ways as we learn to honor the

people around us and to love them as God

loved us amen so I would call us this

week pray about this slow down notice

the people around you and let God begin

to make us loving not just in a

sentimental feeling kind of way but

where the rubber hits the road love is

not rude